Queer, Ego And Bitter

Posted: September 14, 2010 in Bitter
Tags: , ,

Amplaya, Bitter Ocampo, Justine Bitter, Bitternessa or whatever you may call it..

What does it taste like? You may no longer wish to associate with people who remind you of your ex, causing those friends to feel awkward and alienated.

There will be a possible “jowa” (partners) that will into our lives for some reasons; it might be to help us out of a crisis, to teach us something new, to boost our confidence and build us up to face the next stage of our journey, or to be the permanent spouse we seek. The trouble with many single people is that they are so keen to find such a person, they tend to believe every person they meet will be the RIGHT ONE, the permanent partner.

They burden every meeting with that expectation and are then surprised and bitter when it doesn’t work out. Instead of allowing it to unfold in their own way, they expect a lot which is then not delivered. You cannot be bitter in such circumstances. You have to use it as a valuable experience for life while you continue to seek that specific person.

By being bitter, you are really blaming someone else for your feeling of failure or rejection, not taking responsibility for your own life. If things do not work out, then that guy is perceived to be responsible. But BOTH parties are usually responsible for any bad experience in a relationship. There is always a trigger, even unintended, for the reaction of others. If your man is suddenly seeing someone else, what is he missing at home? Why doesn’t he find you attractive anymore to hold his attention?

What message is he trying to give you? Pointless just calling him a “bastard” without looking at what you are not doing to prevent his defection. It is always easier to focus on others when things are not working out, but, most times, focusing on ourselves to get the change we seek is the most effective way of doing something positive about our situation. Blaming others is only a temporary palliative which does not make you feel any better long term because partners won’t respond the way you want them to. Thinking up ways you can change the situation in your favor works every time.

On the flip side, human nature often dictates that people hate hurting others’ feelings—which makes the “dumper” feel just as bad. But in general, when relationships don’t work out, either one or both parties must deal with their fractured egos. If you’ve been with someone for a good deal of time, you may feel as if no one else will ever be able to see your worth.

But this simply isn’t true. In fact, an easy way to combat this feeling is to consider your last relationship. When it ended, you probably felt the way that you do now. This, in and of itself, is proof that falling in love can happen many times in one’s lifetime.


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